Becoming Me: On Breaking Patterns

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”― Mandy Hale

So, it occurs to me that even though we say we want new things in our lives, it is very hard to break our old patterns. You know the old saying, when you keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results, that is the definition of insanity. I’ll be honest, in the past, my pattern was reaching out to people who did not have the capacity (or in some cases, the desire) to reach back to me. Though it caused me pain and embarrassment, I continued to do it. I finally decided that if I did not value myself, no one else was going to value me. It took time, a lot of prayer, and the support of genuine people in my life, but I finally broke that destructive pattern.

My friends, NEVER, EVER, beg another person to receive your love or your friendship. It’s too beautiful and much too valuable. We have to know our worth. We have to know what we bring to the table of any type of relationship. I want you to determine here and now that you will end any and all destructive patterns in your life. Determine that you will stop reaching for things and people on the outside of you, to make the inside of you feel better. There is a healing work that must happen in your heart that only God can do. Putting that responsibility on any other human is unrealistic, and only leads to more pain. Then there is the work that we must do. We do this work in our every day walk, through the pain. And as we go, we gain faith, strength, and confidence. I promise you, my friends, it is a walk worth taking! No looking back. The only direction is forward.

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