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Becoming Me: On Not Giving Up

“Anyone can give up; it is the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would expect you to fall apart, now that is true strength.” – Chris Bradford

The circumstances in which we find ourselves would cause some to think that we will fall apart. The levels of betrayal we have faced, the lies we have been told, the abandonment or just the crushing disappointment of a failed marriage could, in the eyes of some, be the very thing that permanently derails us. But the fact that we refuse to be isolated in pain, the very fact that we are still reaching out for encouragement, solace, companionship, understanding, and empathy, speaks volumes to the fact that we have not, and will not give in to our circumstances.

We are not in denial, by any means. Grieving involves raw pain, that is difficult to deal with. But there is also hope, laughter, and camaraderie. These things tell me that we understand that this a process that we must go through. And though this process of healing is painful, it is one we do not have to go through alone.

I recently read that sometimes when things seem to be falling apart, they are really falling into place. Months from now when we are healthier, when we have started focusing on our our children, our family, friends, our careers, and our goals, we will realize that we have neglected ourselves for far too long and that not obsessing about our spouses has allowed us to refocus on rebuilding our own lives.

The above quote encourages us that not only we will not fall apart, but we will find true strength. I believe this with every fiber of my being. Our marriages may have come to an end, but once we discover true strength, it will last a lifetime.

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